Sunday, October 24, 2010

Drinking outta teacups. Not me. No way.

we. have. dim. sum. every. day.

dad seems to think there's 87 of us when he orders. so this is a typical spread (plus more food on the way). most anyone who reads this has done the dim sum thing and/or chinatown treks to moon villa/apollo/peach farm so i'm skipping past posting the general fewds we get and getting to the weird shit.

(and now for our close-up:)

duck feet. i made it through 2. slather anything in enough sauce and i say anyone could pretty much eat anything. verdict: tastes fine but lotsa soft, chewy bones- too much work, not enough reward. 

i believe this to be billed as "beef with organs"- the actual concept of it getting somewhat lost in translation. it's beef marbled with intestine instead of fat. SOLD! add mustard, two slices of rye, and some kraut and i will eat the f**k out of it.

from right to left: 1) chinese BBQ version of pigs in a blanket. 2) chinese version of mystery meatloaf atop ricebed. verdict: the good never tastes bad but could be really ugly.

[note: the blob at this point is taking a turn into Little Golden Books style with all the pictures and fewer words-- think of it like "The Poky Little Puppy" that got boxed up, fedexed, and sent to China to be made into a kabob]

shopping has turned into a daily activity as well. the apartment complex is attached to a mall. the mall is attached to the metro. the metro is attached to the city. the city is attached to a hole at the bottom of the see...get a nurse. so the first shopping venture is to the world of Sasa's (think sephora for asians). mama li likes to get all the fun kooky asian cosmetic treats. i don't wear makeup- so i like to take pictures of nutty products until salespeople yell at me.

china clearly did not get the memo from japan ( that link really beats me to the punch- but does anyone really want to smell like coke, shame, and herpes that much?!

mostly this was taken in tribute to jackie, and our career in portmanteauism...not buying into the gimmick of making my eyes look dramatical- i did however purchase this:

i won't get into the details- but let's hope that the end effect of this product doesn't make me look like a ladyboy prostitute from thailand that has on too much makeup like a certain counter at macy's made me into. true story.

and since all females do is wear cosmetics and grocery shop (i'm kidding!)-- we went to the supermarket...

i'm not even going to say anything. but D- i'm lookin at you.

and then, because i'm not a total perverted, immature monster, i took a photo of those very pretty, finely detailed rose dumplings. their rice dough skin was delicately molded and carved into beautiful flowers. think of them as the yin to my octopusballsinmahmouf yang.

(if you can't tell, this is ice cream the Wine Lee company)

going clockwise starting from top left: red raspberry chardonnay, royal white reisling, ala port, and peach white zinfandel. despite my protests, my mother bought the ala port. upon consumption, she noted the graininess in texture from the freezer burn. i no likes. it is not the freezer burn.

this is fa yeung gai (flower garden market in mong kok). this picture might as well have a friggin tumbleweed go by because i took it in its ONE split second of an eye of the storm. as far as being a claustrophobic goes it is my own personal hell. the smell of nag champa forever fills your nostrils, there are people snotrocketing next to you, and one is terribly astonished at how brazen the sticky pork-bun-fingered chinese toddlers will dawdle up to you and grab on to your leg for dear life. despite this- i got all your souvenirs here. including this:

jackie, it's no frederick's of hollywood- but all their shit is made in china anyway and i thought you could really add some color to your wardrobe.

exhausted from avoiding boogers my mother and i were homeward bound to meet the patriarch for supper. never one to disappoint- he ordered our first dish:

...the better to peck you with my dear!

pigeon. gone in 60 seconds. the chinese don't use napkins (essentially the tablecloth really is one giant napkin anyway) so this was taken care of medieval times style. papa li is a native, and i think i might have even impressed him with my squab-eating finesse...onto the portion we like to call "Headlines":

this is the restaurant which we supped at:

and that is the only sign they can spell.

there are over a 100 different species of snapper. federal palace had 11. all 11 labels varied from "African Brown Stabber" to "Humpback Red Stabber". magical.

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